I am nearing exhaustion... I enjoy playing with the children, yes no doubt. It's very challenging though, to have to repeatedly, every hour, every day, every week, every month, say the same things, tell them to do this and that. To nag and nag. People probably look at me like i am a child myself, so youngish and always happy as a lark. It's a farce really. The conflicts behind the staged scene, interpersonal friction with family, colleagues...i need my break. I need to get away again, soon. If i've to survive this for the next 6 months and 4 days (yes, i am trying to make a year's full time commitment to this/ a job). I am growing older despite always telling people i feel young; "it's how you feel that make how old you are". Honestly? I am feeling pharking old now. Everytime i am left with myself, my shoulders sink, my breathing becomes heavy, my eyes droop. I'm no longer alive.
I'm long due for my bi-monthly foreign trips.
Children and mothers never truly part...
Bound in the beating of each other's heart.
-Charlotte Gray
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